Why Didn't I Leave

Lyrics

You ask me why I stayed
You think it's that simple
You weren't there
You say, why didn't you just walk away
Like I had the strength, like I had a say
Every night on my knees, trying to pray
Hoping he'd change, hoping he'd stay
He said I'm sorry and I believed
Every broken promise, every lie conceived
I held on to hope while my light disappeared
Drowning in love that was poisoned by fear
You didn't hear the threats in my ear
You didn't see me disappear
He pulled me back with love and fear
Now the truth is finally clear
Why didn't I leave
When every breath was harder to breathe
When every part of me believed
I was nothing without what he wanted me to be
Why didn't I leave
So broken and blinded to see
Those chains around my heart were never love, they were destroying me
I stayed, as I feared what would come that night
If I tried to run, if I tried to fight
As darkness swallowed every trace of light
Until I forgot what was wrong or right
I stayed for the man he pretended to be
For the dream that kept disappearing on me
I thought I could fix what was tearing apart
But you can't heal a monster with a broken heart
I wasn't weak
I was surviving
I wasn't yours
I'm still alive
I didn't stay because I wanted the pain
I stayed, because I felt I had nothing to gain
Every time I tried, you pulled me back again
But you don't own my future
This is where you end
Why didn't I
Now I finally say
It wasn't my fault
It was what you made me believe
Why didn't I
Now I'm learning to breathe
The girl you buried under me
She's alive
She's free
And she's finally leaving
Don't ask me why I stayed
Jade, ask me how I survived.